


Once a Spellman, Always a Spellman

by GrandEmpress13



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 10:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandEmpress13/pseuds/GrandEmpress13
Summary: Zelda tries to have a moment alone with Leticia before taking her out to Desmelda’s.“If her stomach wasn’t clenching desperately, Zelda would have been proud of Hilda’s underhandedness. She would never call it that, no, but then again that never been Hilda’s style. Her sister would say she was just trying to be supportive.As if trying to change her mind on the day when Zelda was the most vulnerable wasn’t the most sly thing Hilda had done in the last fifty years.”





	Once a Spellman, Always a Spellman

Zelda had been dreading this day for a week. The mid winter holiday had come to an end and, with the new year freshly begun, it was time to take Leticia out to live with Desmelda. It was the right choice she knew, the babe would be safer in seclusion than out in the open with the Spellmans, especially considering Zelda’s close relationship to Father Blackwood.

_She’d be safer in the woods than she would be with me._

It was not a thought Zelda even liked to think, much less dwell on, but the Solstice had shown her how dangerous their situation was. Leticia was never going to have a simple life, her blood and circumstances had ensured that.

Sabrina had tried unsuccessfully to change her mind about the baby. Her niece was becoming quite adept at debating and Zelda knew sometime in the next century the girl might be able to actually change her mind when they disagreed. Thankfully she didn’t have much sway yet. Though Zelda had barely given her a real chance to make a case. Whenever Sabrina brought up the baby, Zelda made some excuse - and when she was particularly drained, said nothing at all - and simply left the room.

Ambrose, bless him, had stepped in between Sabrina and her aunt. He didn’t say anything here nor there and kept a respectful distance. But when Zelda fled -as much as she loathed to call it that- Ambrose wasn’t far behind, doing nothing more than making sure wherever she sequestered herself she was alone. She’d have to remember to thank him after the baby was gone.

Hilda for her part did what Hilda does best; subtle, small acts of comfort. Breakfast was ready to go when she woke every morning even though Zelda often rose hours before anyone else. Leticia’s formula was always ready when she needed it. The phone was answered on the first ring. She even tended to the bodies when Ambrose was away.

She also made no effort to change Zelda’s mind. The older witch told herself that maybe Hilda had finally learned to avoid coming to her aid, that trying to comfort her would only earn her stinging remark and quick dismissal. But Hilda, for all her age and experience, never seemed to learn this. Time and again she came back, a calming cup of tea and tender smile at hand.

Zelda had retreated to her room to spend her last moments with Leticia in peace. The baby had been sleeping when she’d come in and a voice in her head chided her not to wake the baby, citing the careful sleeping schedule Zelda had instilled over the last month would be thrown off. Yet she leaned in anyways and picked the child up, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead before pressing Leticia into her chest. The little girl squirmed and blinked open her beautiful brown eyes.

“Oh my strong girl...” Zelda murmured. She stroked a finger down Leticia’s cheek, a small smile creeping across her lips as the baby puckered her lips in response. The auburn witch swayed there for a few moments, simply content to have Leticia’s familiar weight in her arms and silence, save for the soft gurgles of the baby.

“I feel like I ought to tell you what’s happening,” Zelda said, her brows furrowing in half-there contemplation.

She had never been one for the sickly sweet tone people often spoke to their children in. Hilda had done it when Sabrina was young but Zelda had refused. Children were merely small beings who would one day grow up; there was no point in speaking to them as if they were simpletons. So aside from the occasional game or screaming fit, Zelda continued to speak to the child in her usual even tone.

“Our situation has become a bit more precarious,” Her throat was suddenly very dry. “I’m...I am unsure if I can keep you protected.” Leticia threw a tiny fist into the air and Zelda caught it, running her fingers over the back of the little girl’s hand.

“Not that I wouldn’t do everything in my power to keep you safe,” She didn’t know why she felt the urge to assure the babe of that fact, only that she needed to. “I’m going to take you to live with another witch. Her name is Desmelda and she will keep you safe.”

Zelda stopped swaying and moved to her bed, keeping Leticia safely in the crook of her arm.

“You are very special little one,” Zelda whispered. “You may one day lay a great claim to this coven. But being born first, and greater still a girl, means you must be kept hidden until you can defend yourself.” Leticia stared up at Zelda, her intense gaze never wavering.

There was a strange twinge in her chest, and Zelda found herself saying something she could only believe was coming from a place of melancholy. “I don’t regret taking you in. I know I’m...not the always the warmest, but I hope you grow up knowing you will always have a place here.”

The baby didn’t respond. Not that Zelda had been expecting she would. But then Leticia gave a lopsided smile and Zelda felt she just might have understood her.

There was a gentle tap on the door but Zelda ignored it. She knew exactly who it was and knew the time had come.

“Zelds?” Hilda peeked her head in before following with the rest of her body. “I’ve got the car all ready to go, whenever you’re ready.”

Still Zelda said nothing, simply nodding as her eyes stayed locked on the babe in her arms. Hilda waited for a few more moments and when her sister made no move for the door she gingerly made her way over to the bed. She paused for a second in the corner of Zelda’s eye, no doubt noting the numbing balm on the bedside table. Hilda sniffed delicately, trying to discreetly surmise just how much her older sister had used. Past traumas proved Zelda to be an overly liberal user of emotional dampeners.

But she would smell no rosemary here. While Zelda had seriously considered rubbing as much of the balm as possible into her chest this morning, ultimately she had realized how unfair that would be to her night daughter. Instead she sat there, her heart stuttering along at a stilted pace, lungs tight with restraint wrought from the fear that too deep a breath would give the tears suddenly stinging her eyes permission to fall.

Hilda came to stand before her, wringing her hands. She couldn’t tell whether or not to say something and quite frankly Zelda didn’t blame her. She had a history of snapping at her younger sister when she offered comfort and more than once her compassion her earned her a trip to the Cain pit. But truthfully the older witch didn’t have it in her to bite back. She was quite sure even a raised glare wouldn’t have had the power to send Hilda skittering away today.

“I can take her, to make it easier...” Hilda offered, reaching for Leticia.

“No!” Zelda pulled away and clutched the baby tight. Leticia let out an impatient cry and Zelda loosened her grip and turned her attention back to the girl, soothing her until she settled. Hilda held her hands up in surrender.

“I’m sorry I just-”

“I am perfectly capable of taking her to Desmelda’s myself.” Zelda snapped her head up to glare at her sister. Perhaps there was some bite left in her after all. Hilda nodded but said nothing. Though Zelda wished desperately she would leave her be, her sister chose to perch herself next to the older witch on the bed.

“Are you afraid she won’t be able to protect Leticia as well as you?” Hilda asked.

It was a thought Zelda had many times over the last week. But it was an irrational thought. Emotional, fuelled by whatever love had crept into her heart and taken root.

“Desmelda is a fine witch, I have no doubt she can protect the child.” Her cold tone would usually make Hilda falter and look away but she held her ground, watching the baby as Zelda’s gaze stayed locked somewhere past Leticia’s head.

“We don’t have to do this today Zelds,” Hilda murmured softly.

 _There_ _it_ _was._

If her stomach wasn’t clenching desperately, Zelda would have been proud of Hilda’s underhandedness. She would never call it that, no, but then again that never been Hilda’s style. Her sister would say she was just trying to be supportive.

As if trying to change her mind on the day when Zelda was the most vulnerable wasn’t the most sly thing Hilda had done in the last fifty years.

“We must.” The last word caught in the older witch’s throat when her eyes drifted back to the baby’s face.

“Do you really believe Father Blackwood will figure it out?”

“No,” Zelda scoffed, looking at her sister for this first time since she had joined her on the bed. “Faustus is far too enamoured with his son and he trusts me explicitly. He’ll never suspect...” She trailed off.

Before the solstice, Zelda had believed that. Truthfully, even despite the awful events of the holiday, she still did. The High Priest was a smart man, but the birth of his son had made him proud and his ego had inflated considerably.

It left him dimmer than Zelda had ever known him to be and while she doubted it would last much longer, she knew Faustus had no inkling to his daughter’s existence.

“Right...” Hilda paused, as if considering what to say next. “I know you are concerned about Gryla. But Zelds-” She sighed. “You and I both know there are no documented cases of Gryla ever coming down the mountain during the off season.”

Zelda’s teeth grit as her jaw tightened. Her sister was on dangerously thin ice. Her magic began to surge, crackling around them in warning. But Hilda’s magic responded in kind, pushing gently but insistently back.

“We have a year. There are plenty of things we could do between now and then to solidify you as Letty’s mother so that Gryla has no claim.”

“Night mother.” Zelda hissed. She turned back to the baby and shifted her in a more comfortable position. Leticia nuzzled her face into the witch’s breast, not for first time reminding Zelda her body had nothing to offer the girl. “I am her night mother; no need to make it any more than that.”

They sat in silence for another moment and just when Zelda thought she had made her point, that Hilda was going to hold her tongue and let her suffer in peace, her little sister opened her mouth again.

“There are blood spells that could bond you an-”

“For Satan’s sake Hilda! Could you please just let me do this?!” She was yelling she knew but she didn’t really care. “Part of being adult means knowing when to put the needs of those you care for ahead of your own.”

 _No_ _use_ _pretending_ _she_ _was_ _something_ _she_ _wasn’t_.

“You know, when people say that, they’re usually talking about the scary stuff,” Hilda tried again, softer this time. “They think about their child’s health, their safety.” She scooted closer to her older sister. “A lot of the time they forget about their happiness.”

Her sister reached over and stroked the baby’s belly, pausing to brush her hand over Zelda’s elbow on her way back.

“Do you remember when Sabrina was about eight?” It was completely out of the blue and Zelda turned to look at Hilda, wondering what this had to do with Leticia.

“She was having a rough go at school and with the coven...” Hilda chuckled dryly. “Kind of like she is now.” Hilda’s expression saddened. “She was being bullied, ‘cause kids, even when they don’t know what’s wrong, they know when someone is different. And the coven, well,” She clucked her tongue and shook her head, “blaming her for her father’s choices.”

Of course Zelda remembered. They were the subject of whispers and murmurs behind hands at black mass every week. The same thing happened when Edward and Diana died. But those had slowly stopped over those first few years. When Sabrina turned eight however, her magic started to come in in full force. But her mixed lineage made her magic choppy, it stuttered about her like a foal on new legs.

She’d had very little control of it. An emotional spike of any kind usually caused an incident and unfortunately not all of them had been contained to the house. Many in the coven believed she had no place with them; a little half witch with no control of herself would surely expose them. There were even rumours some witches were trying to get the Spellman’s sent to another coven. Not that anyone had the gall to say that to their faces.

“She couldn’t help who she was.” Zelda retorted defensively. Hilda gave a small smile and patted her sister’s knee.

“You and I considered taking her out of public school, remember?” Hilda sighed heavily. “But Edward had wanted her there, we did too.” Zelda frowned. Saying she wanted her niece in a mortal public school was a bit of a stretch but she let Hilda continue. “We thought it was important for her to be well rounded, so she’d have a choice.”

Sabrina having a choice between her mortal life and witch life was what had lead to all the problems in the last year to begin with. But hindsight was always twenty-twenty, she supposed. The older witch watched her sister shrug, caught in the memories.

“But maybe it was time for her to go to school with children like her, so she wouldn’t feel like such an outsider.” Hilda squeezed her knee. “Oh, remember how she cried and cried when we told her?”

“She said she had friends, people that made her days not so bad. She liked her teachers and what she was learning.” Zelda supplied, tears gathering in her own eyes.

“So we decided to leave her where she was.” Hilda continued. “Even though there were days she came home crying and it broke our hearts. Even though it wasn’t what we wanted. We put Sabrina’s needs before our own.”

The tears had become almost commonplace in the Spellman house that year. While Sabrina cried about her troubles, Hilda teared up having to see their niece so distressed. Ambrose was more angry anything but that anger melted and bled into frustration at not being able to do anything for his cousin, which in turn led to a wall being punched one warm June evening. If the tears then were from that frustration and not the pain of his broken hand, Zelda said nothing.

Zelda for her part had largely been filled with rage. Every day her niece came home, tears spilling over her chubby cheeks, was a day Zelda considered murder. She had never experienced such protective anger in her long life until Sabrina came to live with them. It sank into her bones, racing in her veins, pushing her forward and fuelling all of her. But in the end, it had been Hilda who put an end to their niece’s troubles.

“I seem to remember several Greendale parents claiming their children had been terrorized by a giant spider?” Zelda raised a eyebrow, a smirk beginning to grow on her lips. Hilda scoffed and smoothed out her skirt.

“Everyone is afraid of spiders, it just depends how big they are.” The sisters locked eyes and shared a moment of laughter.

“Besides,” Hilda dabbed at her eye, “Everyone, including children, should have manners always.” It didn’t happen often but Zelda relished when her sister had some grit to her.

“You are the only parent Leticia has ever known.” The sweet moment had passed and her sister brought Zelda crashing back into reality. She tightened her grip on the baby, this time careful to not squeeze her. “She might not remember her time here, but she’s a clever one, aren’t you my darling?” Hilda leaned in and stroked under Leticia’s chin. The little girl smiled and cooed. “She hasn’t let go of your hand since I got here.”

Zelda looked down and sure enough Letty’s tiny hand held Zelda’s index finger firmly. She hadn’t even noticed when that happened, and honestly probably wouldn’t have until the babe tried to suck on her finger. One could argue it had become second nature over the last month. One could also say it wasn’t worth noting so it went unnoticed. Zelda knew it was the former but clung to the latter, hoping it would serve her well in the next few days.

“I think she’d have just as much a hard time separating as you would.”

Zelda’s lip trembled and Leticia’s hand became unfocused as her vision blurred. She blinked a few times to try and get herself under control but when she felt her sister’s hand touch softly between her shoulder blades, Zelda gasped and the pressure her lungs had been sustaining broke. Tears started running down her face and she was forced to pull her finger out of Letty’s hand, scrubbing at the tears. They kept coming however, and then she was taking great gulping breaths, making her lightheaded in a matter of moments.

The baby had started whimpering at her antics and at some point Hilda had started rubbing circles down her back. It made Zelda feel weak, ashamed to been seen as such a mess. She had come to her room to avoid this, to have a moment before facing her family tall and proud as she always was.

All she wanted to do was give the baby over and be done with it. Maybe then her damned heart wouldn’t ache all the time. She could stop worrying whenever someone knocked on the front door. No more late nights wandering the house trying to get a screaming baby back to sleep. Her life could go back to the way it had been before.

But when Zelda found her voice, her words came out completely opposite to her thoughts.

“I don’t want to give her up,” Zelda rasped, panic flashing in her eyes as she stared at her sister. Realization of her admission settled heavily in her chest and a small ‘oh’ squeaked from her throat.

“I know love, I know,” Hilda whispered.

It had been so long since Zelda did something she wanted. From a young age her father had drilled into her the importance of appearance, of putting the family, the coven, before everything else. Then her father died and Edward took over. It was his less than subtle suggestion that she finish studying to be a midwife in Europe. Zelda had become brash, in her magic and attitude and her trysts with Faustus at the time had been severely lacking in discretion.

But her time in Europe was truly the last time she could remember doing something for the simple reason that she wanted to. Their mother died and she had responsibly returned home. Zelda had every intention of going back to London but the mortuary required attention and with Edward vying for High Priest and Hilda finishing her own studies, it had fallen to her. Soon she and Hilda were running a midwifery practice as well, and she was supporting Edward’s position as High Priest. Her brother granted her a position on the council. Suddenly her days were filled with church functions, council meetings, patients, funeral preparations, and the occasional class at the Academy.

Then came Diana. A marriage that gave Zelda a migraine. A beautiful baby girl. A horrendous plane crash. All at once she was in charge of a child. So she’d pushed down her grief and her wants, even her needs.

The closest thing Zelda had come to fulfilling something for herself in several decades was her current dalliance with Faustus. Even that was shallow, chipping away at a base need; it had very little to do with what Zelda wanted for herself.

Hilda’s hand just kept moving along her back and briefly Zelda noted it was starting to irritate her. She let her hand trail to the base of her older sister’s spine, grounding her. Zelda hoisted the complaining Leticia up, settling her so her little head rested in the crook of Zelda’s neck. She rocked ever so slightly, holding the baby tenderly, soothed herself when the little girl rubbed her face along the fabric of Zelda’s dress and calmed down.

“I can’t fail her like I did with Sabrina.” Zelda said, pressing a kiss on her night daughter’s head.

“You won’t.” Hilda responded instantly, sternly. She made no effort to refute her regarding Sabrina and deep down Zelda wondered if Hilda was choosing her battles or if she agreed with her sister.

“We can protect Leticia. We will call Desmelda, ask that she standby. That way if things do get dodgy, we can send Leticia to her until things are smoothed over.”

It wasn’t the most fool proof plan, but Zelda had to admit it was an option she hadn’t considered. It wasn’t as if Desmelda was aching to raise a child. The witch had lived on her own for several centuries and she preferred it that way. She’d agreed to take in Leticia because she knew what it was to be an outsider, a witch without a coven.

Leaving Leticia in the woods without the protection of the coven had been Zelda’s only logical argument against Desmelda. Under the lie that Leticia was a long lost Spellman from the old country, she would be under the protective wing of the coven. With Desmelda, Leticia would be open to any witch hunter’s attack. The fact she was a child would not grant her any mercy.

With no commitment from Zelda, Hilda stood and headed for the door. She turned around as she reached it to smile tenderly at her sister.

“I’m going down to turn the car off. Once you get Leticia settled back down, come down for a spot of tea.” With that her sister left, closing the door quietly behind her.

A part of Zelda wanted to call out to her sister. How dare she presume to know what choice Zelda had made? A raised voice and some tears hardly meant she was going to keep the baby.

The auburn witch peeked down at the little girl, her cheek squished against Zelda’s collar, her brown eyes beginning to drift shut.

There was something in the witch’s chest that fired off at the sight of the babe, and it clashed with the sinking feeling that always accompanied the thought that keeping Leticia was selfish.

Never in her long life had Zelda particularly longed for children. True she thought it was one of the greatest things a witch could do in her life, but she hadn’t felt the urge to go through with it herself. Raising Sabrina taught her what it was to be parent, albeit a stern one. Her niece and nephew completed the home she held with her sister, and to Zelda that was all the family she needed.

But the day Leticia slipped into the world and Zelda’s waiting hands, something shifted. Then Judas followed a minute later and Constance passed and it was clear to Zelda that she had to care for this child. She knew what it was to be discounted and made into, at times, nothing more pretty household ornament.

Zelda had been lucky enough to break herself away from the assumptions that her abilities were any less than staggering and made sure no one mistook her for some kind of feminine decoration ever again. But it had taken her years to carve a path for herself, and she wasn’t going to let this little girl suffer as she had. This girl would grow up knowing her power and worth. She would know she was wanted.

Leticia had meant something to Zelda because she had seen herself in the babe. Now she was more than a simple reflection and that was the part Zelda couldn’t understand.

But Hilda could. She had a gift of being able to see right into a person. She could push past the cobwebs and look into the soul, dip into memories. She could separate lies from truth no matter how deeply they were hidden. When she used this gift harshly, it was cold, startling and deeply disturbing. Hilda could pick a person down to their bones if she pleased. She rarely did though, opting for a softer approach. That way, when she was done, people were often left feeling the way Zelda was now; slightly warm but reeling from the conclusion she had come to.

Hilda had known. She had always known.

Zelda stood slowly and gently deposited Leticia into her crib. She brushed her hand once more over the baby’s face, letting out a small sigh of relief.

She headed downstairs, very grateful her sister had stopped her from sending a member of their family out into the cold.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first piece I’ve completed in years and honestly I can’t believe I actually did but there’s a lot about Zelda I want to write about. Let me know what you thought!
> 
> I’m on tumblr as rileyhmorrison, I’m always down for talking about my favourite Spellman sisters!


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